


Why?

by tkjarrah



Series: Shards [2]
Category: Parahumans Series - Wildbow
Genre: Don't Judge Me, Drabbles, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Gen, NSFW, Parahumans (Parahumans Series), Post-Golden Morning (Parahumans), Power Imbalance, Snippets, Trans Female Character, Ward - Wildbow, Ward Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2020-07-11 17:34:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19931863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tkjarrah/pseuds/tkjarrah
Summary: worm/ward snippets and other random stuff that are never gonna make a fic on their own. nsfw companion toWhet





	1. Devilbug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> little post-GM taylor/aisha with some lisa thrown in. nsfw  
> all characters are adults - aisha is 18, lisa and taylor would be about 20 at this point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lisa: *forces a thinker headache to fuck because she loves her disgusting romoallo friends that much*  
> nah jokes aside i see lisa as not being sex-repulsed when its with the people she loves so i figure she'd occasionally hover around the edges just for the connection and whatnot

I felt her fingers run down my spine, then slightly to the left, gently caressing-

“Oh my god, Aisha,” I said. “Are you serious?”

She grinned up at me, in that slightly feral way she did. “Wondered if you’d remember.”

_“Tell me something only Imp would know.”_

_“I could tell you there’s a mole on your back,” Imp said._

“That’s…” I was honestly at a loss for words. It was almost a relief when she arched up and kissed me again, dragging me back down until I was lying on top of her. “You didn’t think that would be a moodkiller?”

One of her hands wandered down to my chest, fingernail digging ever-so-slightly into my nipple. “Mood seems fine to me,” she said as I gasped.

“You two done being weird yet?” Lisa asked from her chair on the other side of the room. “Getting kinda dry over here.”

“ _We’re_ being weird?” I muttered indignantly as Aisha cackled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> flashback is from [Imago 21.3](https://parahumans.wordpress.com/2013/04/16/imago-21-3/), and when i saw it i immediately realised it was good actually that taylor died cause she and aisha absolutely wouldve hooked up and it wouldve just been weird for everyone  
> also here i made (read: put way too much effort into) a relationship chart for this AU:


	2. Devilbug (2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more of the same. still nsfw, still all adults

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> which part of 'dont judge me' didnt you get

“Yeah, we _could_ have a long, boring conversation like ‘responsible adults’ or whatever...” Aisha bit down on one of her fingers, in a way that should not have been as sexy as it was. “ _Or_ , you could eat me out already instead of being a buzzkill.”

“Yeah, Taylor,” Lisa jeered. I’d missed her vulpine grin so much, and seeing it again nearly made me tear up. In a good way, though. “Don’t be such a buzzkill.” She was acting all composed, but I could see the tension behind it, the way her fingers were pulsing slightly inside her.

I rolled my eyes with a sigh, and slid down the bed until I could turn over and rest my knees on the ground. With an overly-dramatic kick like a cabaret dancer, Aisha opened her legs, and the reveal of smooth, toned inner thighs and a forest of thick black curls sent a pang of heat and longing through me.

“Hey Aisha!” Lisa called out, sounding entirely too smug. “Just FYI, she nearly came just then.”

“I did _not_ ,” I bristled, as Aisha threw her head back and cackled. I reached one hand down and _wow_ , holy shit was I wet. “What happened to ‘my power isn’t working right now’?”

“It’s not,” Lisa said. “That was an all-Lisa original.”

“Not like it’s hard, either,” Aisha added. “You do this little fluttery thing with your eyes right before you come.”

“...I do?”

“You _so_ do.” I glanced over at Lisa, who gave a thumbs-up in confirmation. “It’s _really_ hot.”

I tried not to let how flattered I felt show. “...thanks, I guess.”

“You’re welcome. Now, hurry up already! Mama needs to get her fish tacos ate.”

I gagged as Lisa guffawed in the background. “You _cannot_ phrase it like that.”


	3. Workplace Relations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carol/Natalie scraps  
> nsfw and also nsfa (not safe for anyone) - power imbalance, work superior and subordinate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i blame you for this (you know who you are)  
> sorry for the choppy nature but also i cant physically make myself write any more of this so you get what you get  
> (also if you read this just after it was posted no you haven't been imped i originally uploaded an older draft that was missing a few sentences, including the only semi-explicit reference to natalie being trans)

“Was there something else you needed, Natalie?” Carol asked.

She couldn’t deny that a small part of her had considered Victoria to be a… consolation prize, of sorts. Or, no, not a consolation so much as… a version of the woman she desired that wasn’t completely unattainable. Only a few years apart in age, no power imbalance - well, not in the professional sense. Not married to a man. 

It had only ever been a small part, though, and as she interacted with Victoria more, it became clear that the heroine was very much her own woman. Of course she was, people weren’t just clones of their parents, but more than that she seemed to be distancing herself from Carol, both externally and in-, putting distance between her and the physical woman, but also between herself and the most Carol-like parts of her person. Natalie hadn’t understood why, at first; she thought she was beginning to now. 

But the fact remained that every day, she had to come into work for Carol and pretend like she wasn’t one compliment away from creaming her pants on the spot.

\-----

“Show me,” Carol repeated, a faint smirk flickering across her lips. “Show me how you touched yourself, thinking about me.”

\-----

“Have you…” Natalie asked tentatively, hoping a vague gesture at herself would be enough to communicate what she meant, “...before?”

Carol’s gaze followed the gesture downwards, but took its time in returning to her face. “On occasion, yes.” The way the corner of her mouth quirked up at that left Natalie certain of her prowess than any words could. “I promise, you don’t have to worry about my _qualifications_ _._ ”

Okay, maybe _those_ words could.

Natalie had been cold earlier, but now she felt like she was about to burn up. She started to shrug out of her suit jacket, but froze as Carol’s hands on her shoulders stopped her.

“We’ll be keeping that, I think,” she murmured.

Natalie’s heart caught in her chest. “Y-you like-” _it? Me? Me in it?_

“Mm. Smart, but still approachable. Not _too_ perfect. It suits you.” Natalie felt like her cheeks were about to catch on fire. 

\-----

Her head was swimming, and she felt like she was about to faint. She was _right there_ , Carol was _right there_ in front of her, completely bare. It was torturous, being so close, being able to _smell_ the musky scent of her even over her perfume, but not being able to-

Without breaking conversation even slightly, Carol's hand on top of her head pulled Natalie forward in between her legs.

\-----

Carol's hand began to move, slowly at first, but quickly gaining speed, stroking up and down, cupping and fondling and squeezing, changing whenever Natalie thought she was starting to find a rhythm. Then, without warning, Carol's fingers brushed lightly over her head, the touch light but still almost unbearable on the hypersensitive skin. 

Natalie gasped instinctively, but Carol’s hand was immediately there, blocking out the moan before it could carry. “ _Shh_ ,” she whispered in Natalie’s ear, breath tickling across the fine hairs. “Control yourself.” 

As if it was as easy as just saying it. Still, she nodded furiously, biting on the inside of her cheek to keep herself from crying out. Little whimpers and moans still slipped out, but judging by the way she reacted to them, Carol didn’t consider those a violation of her orders- her _instructions._

\-----

“Mine,” Carol hissed in her ear as she bucked and writhed. There was an almost-feral edge to the word, and Natalie knew she shouldn’t be aroused by it anyway, but was having trouble remembering _why_. “Aren’t you, Natalie?” Carol continued, tone softer. “Aren’t you mine?”

 _Oh god oh fuck oh-_ “Y-yes,” she whimpered breathlessly, “Carol, please-”

“Say it, Natalie.” The sound of her name on Carol’s lips alone felt like it could have tipped her over the edge, but the other woman’s fingers kept stopping just before giving her the push she needed. “I want to hear you say it.”

At that moment, Natalie would have said just about anything, but those specific words still sent a dark, guilty thrill shooting down her spine. “Yours,” she gasped out.

“You’re _mine_ ,” Carol whispered, and _finally_ let Natalie come.


	4. Quickie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quick Starsong snip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this wouldnt be their first time, but the scene stuck in my head so here.

“Swansong,” Antares said, expression unreadable behind her mask. She tilted her head to the side, gesturing. “Can I speak to you for a moment?”

“Everything okay?” Capricorn asked.

Antares nodded. “Just need a bit of privacy. Civilian stuff. You guys keep going, we shouldn’t be more than a few minutes.”

Ashley allowed herself to be led out of the room, at first by gesture, and then once they’d exited, by Victoria’s hand on her wrist. The other woman glanced back briefly and made a _shh_ gesture, as she led Ashley through a few corridors, before finally coming across a small storage closet.

Victoria opened the door and gestured inside, and, hesitantly, Ashley stepped inside, feeling increasingly worried as Victoria followed her inside, closing the door behind her. 

Ashley opened her mouth to ask what was wrong, but Victoria’s lips crashing into her own cut her off. After the initial moment of shock, she melted into the kiss, wrapping herself around Victoria as she pressed them against the door. Victoria was furious and wild, filled with an almost-feral energy that sent shivers down Ashley’s spine as their tongues and teeth and lips intermingled.

“Sorry,” Victoria panted as she pulled away, grinning. Her hood had come down, and a few strands of hair had escaped her braid to dangle in front of her face. “You looked so good and I’ve been _dying_ to do that all day.”

If the thrill of being wanted, of being _desired,_ ever faded, Ashley wouldn’t know. She let herself drown in another furious kiss, until-

Ashley gasped into Victoria’s mouth as fingers pinched at her nipple, rolling the flesh into a hardened nub through the fabric. “Victoria, what-”

“We’ve got time,” she murmured into Ashley’s neck, in between kisses and bites. “Can you keep quiet?”

Realisation hit Ashley like a wave. “Yes!” she blurted, entirely too loud. “ _Yes,_ I can-”

“Good.” Victoria grinned wickedly, then dropped to her knees. “Cause I’m going to be a bit too busy.”

If the last realisation had been a wave, this was a tsunami. “Victoria,” she said, eyes wide. “You don’t-”

Victoria shushed her, one finger to her smirking lips, then placed her hands on Ashley’s calves and ran them upwards along the outside of her legs until she reached the fabric of her underwear. She glanced up, a question in her eyes, and a nod was the only answer Ashley could give.

Smooth and business-like, Victoria pulled the black garment down and off, lifting one foot then the other. She went to throw it aside, then paused, and pressed a finger to the centre.

“Really?” she asked, barely above a whisper.

“Take responsibility for your actions,” Ashley shot back, voice strained.

That garnered a chuckle. Victoria set the underwear aside, and lifted the fabric of Ashley’s dress, gesturing for her to take it and hold it up as she shuffled forward slightly.

“God,” Ashley heard the other woman murmur. “I still can’t believe how hot that is.” Ashley didn’t have to ask what she meant - the light brush of fingers across her already-soaking folds a moment later was answer enough.

Ashley sagged, heat already pulsing through her at even that faint touch. “Victoria,” she breathed, but any further words were driven out of her head as the woman in question leaned forward and ran her tongue slowly along the length of- of _her_.

Carefully, as Ashley bit down on her hand to keep silent, Victoria went to work, tongue flicking back and forth, up to tease at her clit, down and around, before finally dipping inside.

 _I’m dreaming. This can’t be real._ And yet, Victoria’s head between her legs remained stubbornly extant, the blue eyes staring up at her over the bunched-up fabric of her dress too bright and smoldering to be imagined. To say nothing of the sensation of the tongue inside her, nose brushing through the curls just above, enthusiasm more than making up for lack of experience.

When Ashley came only moments later, it felt different than it normally did. More of a… _release_ , in the physical sense. It was, of course, an observation made after the fact - she was somewhat _distracted_ during. 

Ashley sagged against the wall, cheek throbbing where she’d bitten it, everything else throbbing in a different way. Her vision still slightly fuzzy, she saw Victoria _swallow,_ then stand up, wiping at her mouth with the back of one hand before drawing Ashley in for a deep, slow kiss. The taste of her own arousal on the other woman’s lips was enough to send an aftershock through Ashley, and her legs gave out on her a second time as she shivered with pleasure.

“Was that good?” Victoria asked quietly, once they finally separated.

Ashley couldn’t help but laugh. “Only you, Victoria Dallon, could turn a woman’s legs to jelly and still worry it was insufficient.” Victoria blushed, and Ashley bumped their foreheads together. “ _Yes_ , it was good.”

“Good.” Her eyes flickered down towards Ashley’s neck. “Oh, um. I may have gotten- a little carried away, though.”

“...how many marks do I have on my neck right now?”


	5. Clawyer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natalie/Damsel, mostly fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not very horny, but a bit too horny to be sfw. started out as smut but i got bored and it turned into mostly fluff instead.

“This isn’t working.”

Natalie sat up a little. “Yeah,” she admitted reluctantly.

Ashley - Damsel, but it felt weird to call her that in this context - propped herself up on one elbow, wiping at her mouth with the back of her hand.

“Is it…” Natalie started delicately. “If you haven’t been with a trans woman before, it’s alright. I don’t mind showing you-”

“It’s not that,” Ashley snapped. “It’s… _this_.” She gestured between the two of them in that way she did, more with the body of her hand than any of the fingers. “Something with this.”

Natalie didn’t think it had been _that_ bad. Sure, she’d had better, but these days, getting _any_ was rare enough to make it worth appreciating. “Do you want to keep trying? We can leave it there for the night, if you want.”

Ashley shook her head. “I refuse to be defeated,” she declared imperiously, but with the glint in her eye that Natalie had come to recognise as her being self-aware. Her sister did the same thing with Victoria sometimes, she’d noticed. 

_Used_ to do the same thing.

“Alright,” Natalie replied with a small grin, “what’s our new strategy, then?”

“...still a work in progress,” Ashley admitted, pulling herself upright. Natalie proferred her wrists, and with surprising deftness, the other woman used the back of one hand and her teeth to undo the knot in the rope and let it fall to the bed. It had been… fine, Natalie supposed. She didn’t mind, and there were glimmers of something there, but it was really just like having sex but with less use of her hands.

“What if…” she said slowly, an idea coalescing. “What if we switched it around?”

“...explain.”

“Well, you’ve been…” she remembered just in time that Ashley didn’t know any terminology, and she couldn’t just say ‘topping’, “ _taking the lead_ so far. Which I’m fine with! But if it’s not working for you, maybe… I could? Instead?”

\----

“Do… you want to be tied up as well?”

“No,” Ashley said.

She _obviously_ did. And Natalie… hadn’t thought about it until now, but was finding that she liked the idea too. 

“Okay,” she tried, “how about… how about this. You can obviously kill me at any time, right?”

“Of course.”

“Right. And it’s not like rope is going to hold you if you don’t want it to, either. So maybe- you can try it, for me?”

\-----

Without her hands to support her, Ashley was off balance, and Natalie had to make sure to keep her upright and balanced on her lap. As she used the bindings to adjust their position slightly, Ashley twitched against the ropes with a moan, and the heat in Natalie's stomach felt like it was just about to boil over.

"That's it," she whispered into Ashley's ear, every movement rubbing her stomach against Natalie, bringing her closer and closer. "Is that good?"

The murmur of affirmation was muffled as Ashley pressed her head into the crook of Natalie's neck, head bumping against her chin in time with their shared rhythm. Moans and gasps quickly followed it, vibrating through Natalie as she continued grinding Ashley along her thigh.

"You're doing so good," Natalie said softly.

\-----

It was a couple of minutes before Ashley spoke. “That was… nice.”

“...yeah,” Natalie said, surprised to find she was still a little breathless. It _had_ been nice. Better than nice, even. “The rope, it didn’t…”

Ashley held up her hands, showing her the slight red marks where the ropes had chafed against her skin.

Natalie winced. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” she said, rolling her wrists. “It was… pain is an old friend of mine. It was almost comforting, in a way.”

 _Just say you’re a masochist like a normal person._ Then again, it was entirely possible that she didn’t know about that sort of thing. 

“Hold on, I’ll be right back.” Then, impulsively, before getting up and going into the bathroom, she leant over and gave Ashley a peck on the cheek. 

When she returned, the other woman was sitting upright, back against the headboard, arms folded over her chest, claws splayed out to either side. 

“Please don’t scratch the headboard,” Natalie asked without thinking. “It’s a family heirloom.”

“What is that?” Ashley asked, ignoring the question as Natalie settled back down onto the bed beside her.

“It’s lotion,” she explained showing her the label. “For the burns.”

Ashley’s eyes narrowed, and Natalie held back a sigh. “Whatever you think _this_ is, it’s _not_. I don’t want your _pity_ or-”

“Ashley,” Natalie interrupted her. “It’s not a power play, or an apology, or anything else. I’m not trying to make some big statement or presume anything, okay? You have rope burns on your wrists, and I want to put lotion on them so they’ll heal properly. That’s it.”

Ashley was still tense, but for some reason, Natalie wasn’t afraid. Looking at the other woman in her bed, she should have been thinking of the videos she’d seen of her slaughtering innocents with the Nine, or stabbing those claws through someone’s chest, but instead she just felt… fondness. Fondness and vague amusement.

“Let me do this for you?” Natalie asked, after a few moments of silence.

Ashley didn’t reply, but slowly, she held out her hands, and let Natalie take them and start gently massaging the lotion onto the red welts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> damsel wants to top out of insecurity but is actually a bottom. natalie is a switch


	6. Fragile Ones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waste/Victoria, starts out kinda fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> communication is sexy

“Is that… can you hear me?”

There was a faint brush of fingers against my right hand.

“Right hand for yes?”

Right hand.

“And then left hand for no?”

Right hand.

“So if I said… right hand for no?”

Left hand now, and I smiled.

“Okay. Hi. It’s… _really_ good to be able to talk to you.”

Right hand. _You too._

“Is there…” I paused, thinking. “Do you have a name?”

_Yes._

I’d think through the implications of that later. “Is it- is there some way you can show me? Do you think you could write?”

 _Yes._ A pause. _No._

“It’s complicated?” 

_No._

“Or- respectively, yes and no?”

_Yes._

“You can’t write, but you can show me?”

_Yes._

There was a slight rattling, and I glanced over to see the bin lifting off the ground. “A… bin? Trash?”

_No._

I followed my gut. “Another word?”

_Yes._

“...wastebasket?”

Both hands simultaneously. _Yes and no._ Then, right then left in rapid succession.

Again, I followed my gut. “Waste yes, basket no?”

_Yes._

“Your name is Waste?”

_Yes yes yes yes._

I couldn’t help but interpret it as enthusiasm, and grin in return. “It’s nice to meet you, Waste.”

_Yes yes yes._

“Although I guess you’ve known me for a long time, huh? I’m sorry it took so long for us to talk.”

_No. Not your fault._

“I guess not.” For whatever reason, I thought of Sveta. “Do you… how should I refer to you? ‘It’ feels wrong, now.”

 _Yes._ Then both hands: _it’s complicated._

“He, then?”

_It’s complicated. No._

“She?”

_It’s complicated. Yes._

“Okay.” My power was a girl, kind of. I don’t know why that made me feel better, but it did. 

\-----

I lay there in the darkness, wiping away the tears with my clean hand. _Dammit._ I’d had my fling, I’d managed to enjoy that without breaking down, so why couldn’t I do this? 

Logically, I knew that one hookup wasn’t going to instantly fix all my issues, and that the circumstances were very different. That was a cold comfort, though, when I was so pent up, and unable to relieve it.

 _Are you okay?_ The words weren’t spoken, it was just a brush of a hand against my cheek, but I was getting the hang of interpreting Waste, leaning on that intuition that I was starting to suspect was my connection to my passenger - to her. 

“Yeah,” I said softly. “I’m alright, sorry. It’s just…” 

My first instinct was to deflect, say it was just a human thing, but she’d shown a surprising level of understanding around such things. More importantly, she’d basically confirmed that she’d been aware of everything that happened to me since we’d first connected. It was a bit late to start being prudish.

“I thought I’d be able to handle it myself,” I said, trusting her to understand what I meant by ‘it’. “After Anelace, I thought I could, but it’s just-”

I squeezed my eyes shut, pushing back the tears. 

“I’m okay,” I finished. “It’s not a big deal, but it’s sweet that you care.” 

Not that that was surprising. It was still a bit strange, how the interdimensional parasite attached to my brain seemed to be genuinely caring and kind. 

Waste cupped my cheek in one hand, and I felt a thumb wipe a tear away. She didn’t remove the hand, though, letting it linger. The gentle pressure against the inside of my wrist told me it was a question, by the improvised system we’d been cobbling together earlier. _May I try something?_

“Sure,” I said, curious. 

Whatever I had been expecting, the soft press of lips against my own wasn’t it. 

For a second, as tired and- _frustrated_ as I was, I didn’t think, just leaning into the touch, letting myself arch up into the kiss as hands supported me from below, ran over my hips and thighs- 

My brain caught up to reality, and I frantically disengaged, pushing away at a torso that wasn’t there, flopping back down onto the bed.

Reeling, it took me a second to register the touch at my left hand, and the pressure against the wrist. _I’m sorry. Should I stop?_

My first instinct was to say yes. To back off, go to sleep, and pretend this never happened.

“No,” I said. “You just- caught me off-guard.” I took a breath. “Don’t stop.”

A hand caressed my face gently, and this time, it was a conscious choice on my part to lean in. Her hands were cold and unnaturally smooth, but that made it easier, in a way. Easier to remember she wasn’t really there, easy to remember that they weren’t my own. 

She kissed me again, and I didn’t pull away this time. My instinct based on past experience was to reach up and wrap my arms around my partner, pull them down, but that wasn’t really an option here. It wasn’t like I was really with a partner anyway, I reminded myself.

\-----

I lost myself in the kiss, not trying to control the little moans and gasps that escaped as hands continued to caress my breasts. I broke away, though, when one of the hands was replaced with another mouth, and the gentle roll of teeth.

_Stop?_

“No,” I replied quickly. “Just. Only one mouth, okay? It’s…” I pushed those thoughts down. I was going to enjoy this, dammit.

_Okay. I’m sorry._

“It’s okay,” I reassured her. “Not your fault.”

\-----

A hand slid down my stomach, sending shivers down my spine, before stopping just above the waistband of my sweatpants.

“Yes,” I whispered, in answer to the unspoken question. “Please.”

Other hands joined it, pulling the pants down to my ankles, and then off entirely, with more care and grace than I could have managed on my own.

The whole situation was… strange. I wasn’t passive, but I wasn’t fully in control either. I wasn’t directing what happened, but it seemed like it was responding to me to some degree. 

My thoughts flickered downwards, and, sure enough, there was the faintest touch of fingers between my legs, drawing another gasp from me.

Hands ran down my thighs, and I spread my legs, letting them move down to the inside, running up and down as I tensed, heat pooling in my core. 

“Please,” I repeated, not caring that I had been saying it over and over. I wasn’t normally on- this side of things. I wondered what memories Waste was drawing on, what points of reference she was using. Were they my memories, or hers? Both? Did she have bleedthrough from-

-and a bolt of heat shot through me as a tongue flicked across my clit, driving that line of thought from my head. I moaned, embarrassingly loud, and, emboldened, the tongue returned, slower this time, as fingers began to brush lightly over me, almost teasing.

\-----

It was so much sensation, almost overwhelming me. Lips and hands and fingers and tongue - it felt like I was being embraced by four different people at once, but simultaneously by no-one at all.

I didn’t have much reference in recent memory, but when I came, it felt like one of the strongest I’d ever had. I bucked and writhed, twisting one hand in the sheets and biting down on the other to contain the noises I wanted to make. 

\-----

I lay there, limp, staring up at the ceiling as my breathing settled. 

“Thank you,” I whispered. “That was… thank you.”

The sensation of ghostly lips against my forehead, of cool fingers intertwining with my own, should have been unsettling. But for the first time in a long time, I just felt safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case its not clear, the break starts immediately after victoria tries and fails to masturbate


End file.
